Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
