what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize