i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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