Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
