Will you blow on my dice?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
