I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
