Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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