Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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