I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
