the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I understand Curling. That high.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize