I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
