She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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