We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
