Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
