I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to make out with him forever
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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