You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
