Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
