i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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