his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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