This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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