How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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