are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
