If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize