she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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