she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
