Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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