yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
