OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
