im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize