please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
