I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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