Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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