having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need to calm my uterus...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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