chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
