My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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