Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
