So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
