I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
