I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
