You made me cry and you don't even care
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
