quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I skipped work to stalk him.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
