You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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