you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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