Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize