My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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