i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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