I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
