I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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