i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
