I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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