i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
