coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
