I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
