i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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