You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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