I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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