wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
