K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
