Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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