she was so not down for the gang bang
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
