TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
handjob tips. give me some.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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