the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
