ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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