You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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