A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I currently don't understand fingers.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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