Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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