She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
