but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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