Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
