Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
