Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
