What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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