I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
